Well I currently live in Florida, i been living here for 7 years now, but i was born somewhere in south america.
so i created this blog to talk about things i can't talk to anybody else, if you're thinking right now that i might be a loser with no friends...well thats far from the truth, you see i'm 20 years old and currently have a few close friends, they're great. oh yea i also have a wonderful husband, and of course i cannot forget to mention my beautiful baby boys(my kittens) kiki and kio.
the problem is that no matter how great a person in my life is, i for some reason cannot find a way to connect with them, so you can imagine how bad my relationships have been...well they were bad i dated wonderful guys but i ultimately fuck things up...every single time.
now im married and i could not be more miserable than i am now, when this relationship started going downhill i thought to myself that i always pair up with people i have no common likes with, but a few months ago i realized thats not the problem, the problem here is me, yep is me i know that supposedly we are all unique in our own way and stuff but i do know that even though we're all different we have people we enjoy to be around, you know like a macth? that theres people out there for everyone...now i believe im the exception. if you're thinking im probably wrong that i just haven't met the "right" guy yet well to be sincere i hope you're right because right now i just feel that i would never find that right person for me..and no im not just talking about a love relationship, im also talking about friends, even though i have friends i never feel happy around them, everytime i hang out with them i try to be fun i try to have a good time but the truth is im bored, i have a terrible time and always want to come home as soon as possible.
i have to admit that when i was in south america it was worse i really hated people there, they were all the same! they didn't like me because i was different, i didn't think like them, i liked rock music and not provocative clothes oh yea and i was quite that alone was a big negative in their eyes, you might not think those 3 things are not a big deal but they are down there of course those are not the only things they're a few examples.
when i came to florida i finally felt more like home, you know there was more varieties than just one mind set. i still think i was born on the wrong side of the world well now it feels more like the wrong planet, maybe the wrong century? i definitely feel i don't belong here and im not saying that like most people who say that because usually the issue with those people is that they can't find boyfriends/friends and they're just not liked...well in my case is not like that, i know my boyfriends liked me very much, i know my husband loves me a ton.. and i know my friends love me too, but i don't feel the same way about them. am i living in the wrong town? country? i would like to believe that but i know the problem is me.
anyway this is getting long and since im sick with a cold im going to take some night cold medicine and sleep.
if by some reason theres a person reading this and would like to leave a comment please do. maybe you feel the same way?
good night.
